What The Hell?
by Haldiriel
Summary: Katrina should never have challenged her brother to a race across the valley. Attacked by orcs , saved by elves and taken by force to Lothlorien, she finds herself falling for the Marchwarden. He, however, cannot believe he has been made responsible for her and does everything in his power to fob her off on his brothers. When she escapes though, he realises what he has lost.


Katrina Chalmers flung her backpack on her shoulders and sighed. There was no point denying it, she was well and truly lost. She stood up straight and surveyed her surroundings. In all directions she could see no visible points of interest. "Goddamit!" she shouted. Cursing her broken compass mentally she closed her eyes and tried to focus on calm thoughts. It didn't work. For the past day the compass had been sending her in a giant circle and now she stood at the edge of a rather forbidding looking wood. She shuddered and rolled her eyes. The next moment she felt a giant raindrop plop on her nose and looked up at the sky. "Bloody typical. Lost in the middle of nowhere and now a flood. What's next then God?" ... Two days ago she had challenged her brother Joe to a race. From one side of the valley from their home to their grandparent's house by the lake 10 miles away. Joe was probably already there eating them out of house and home. It was a journey they had made a few times before but together and never apart. Now she had to face the thought that she needed help and soon. She took her phone out of her pocket and saw the no signal sign. Staring at her phone in disbelief she shook her head and decided to carry on walking along the edge of the forest. Plugging in her headphones she flicked through her music store and pressed play on a rock album.

Rumil nearly fell off the branch when he heard the scream "Goddamit!" In the common tongue. What unearthly creature had woken him up? He stood up silently and pulled an arrow from his quiver. Puzzled he moved easily from tree to tree towards the edge of his wood. He didn't understand what the scream meant and wanted to see if it's owner needed aid. Peering through golden leaves he spied a human girl holding something in her hand and fiddling with her ears. He raised an eyebrow as she started to walk off humming a song. Did she not know the danger she was in being on her own? On impulse he decided to follow. Calling to the other wardens in birdsong they acknowledged him and moved to cover his area for him...

One hour later Katrina had skirted part of the edge of the forest and through the rain spied a hill not far off. Hiking to the top seeing all around may help get her bearings so she started off and was halfway up when her favourite Bon Jovi song came on. Singing "whoa we're halfway there!" at the top of her voice she stopped to have a drink of water from a bottle. Smiling she thought she sounded really good and started to pretend she had an audience and bowed. Little did she know she was being watched by several beings, some not as friendly as the others.

From his higher vantage point Rumil stare in morbid fascination at the girl. Unbelievably she stood on the hillside in the rain singing a song. He wondered what in Arda was wrong with her. He had not seen what she looked like because she had a hood on. She sang in a strange accent too, and not very well either. He had to suppress a rather large snort as she bowed to an imaginary crowd. Suddenly he was alerted to the fact she was not on her own. Several large shapes appeared in the gloom further along the hillside. He focused and spotted about 12 orcs moving stealthily towards her. He rolled his eyes and thought of his brothers. Whistling loudly he called for help. Listening he heard several wardens moving quickly through the trees towards his position. The other wardens reached him and stared out as they saw what was about to happen. "Is she deaf?" said Orophin. "Can she not hear them? They are like a herd of Oliphaunts!"

"I do not know brother but I am sure my ears have been affected by her singing. It was truly awful." Said Rumil.

Katrina stomped through several large bushes and stumbled on a rather large root. Falling to her knees in the mud she cursed and lowered her head, wanting to cry. "How on earth could things get any worse?" Looking up she nearly fainted. Standing not too far up the hill from her were the most scariest things she had ever seen in her life. Tall deformed creatures appeared in her vision. They had grey withered skin and all of them were leering at her as if she were a prize. She stood up slowly and closed her eyes. "I am going to die. I am going to die in a dream being raped by the creatures from hell. God help me!" She whispered to herself. She opened her eyes and noticed the things were moving slowly forming a circle around her. Tears started forming in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Turning quickly she started running towards the forest. Images of her life flashed in front of her and the rain lashed at her face as she ran. She had nearly made it to the forest when one of the things grabbed her coat from behind and pulled it hard. She was spun around hard and her hood was pulled from her head. "Where are you going pretty one? We wants to play." It pulled her hair really hard and slapped her across the face. Nearly hysterical now as the others joined them she started to plead with them to let her go. Suddenly the one holding her stiffened as an arrow shot into his eye right in front of her. Katrina nearly vomited but as his hold weakened she turned and ran straight into a brick wall. Bouncing off a man with long hair she screamed and fell on her backside into the mud. "What the hell is this shit? What is happening to me?"

Rumil grabbed her arm and helped her up. The other wardens were finishing off the Orcs with arrows and swords and he turned to watch the fighting. He could see it would not take long and turned to speak to the girl. He rolled his eyes as he saw her running down the hillside at speed and took off after her. He caught up easily and reached out to stop her. Suddenly she slipped in the mud and fell awkwardly. She landed on her arm funny and they both heard the bone crack. She screamed and tried to get up but couldn't. "Please let me help you now." Rumil asked squatting beside her and gently taking her arm. He examined it and knew it was broken. She sobbed quietly with her head lowered. He put his hand under her chin and raised her head to look into her eyes. Holding her look he uttered an Elvish sleep spell and caught her as she fell forward into his arms. Sighing he picked her up easily and walked towards the forest. The other wardens were waiting for him and he strode up to them asking for a healer. Marilion stepped forward and gestured for him to put the girl down so he could examine her. He sighed and said "Her arm is broken in two places and she will probably have a black eye from where she was slapped. She also needs to be changed out of these wet... Clothes." The other elves grinned at each other and offered their services at this point. Rumil glared and ordered them back to their stations on watch. He told Marilion to accompany him to the nearest talan and help him with the strange girl. At the tree they helped each other to climb to the talan with the girl. Rumil lay her down next the mattress and they both started to undress her to get the sodden clothes off to prevent a chill. They removed the coat, looking in fascination at the zip and moving it up and own. Her jeans were undone and removed. Rumil wondered what the material was and threw them to one side. They cleaned her up and got rid off all the mud. Then Marilion said "Rumil I have to reset her arm now and splint it. Hold her down if she wakes up please."

Katrina could hear voices murmuring and fought the need to go back to sleep. "Please Mom, five more minutes. I'll get up then." There was silence and then she heard melodic voices whispering and laughing. She felt gentle hands take hold of her arm and then the pain was immense. "What the hell?" She screamed and came fully awake. Squatting over her were two of the most fittest men she had ever seen. One grabbed her shoulders and ordered her to stay still in a strange accent. "Peace child we are trying to mend your arm. It is broken. You will not move." Katrina struggled and tried to get up but the men were strong and held her fast.

Marilion said "Rumil send her to sleep quickly. I cannot fix this arm while she is struggling so much." Rumil looked at the girl and ordered in common "Child, look at me."

Katrina stared at him in pain and said "I think I am going to be sick now. And look you, I am not a child. I happen to be 19." He held her gaze and said the sleep spell quickly and watched as she relaxed into dreams again.

"Ai! One thing I cannot stand is seeing humans bring the contents of their stomachs up."

Marilion smiled as he was able to set and splint the arm safely. "You were told Rumil, she is not a child, she is 19."

Rumil and Marilion sat on the flet quietly talking and watching over the girl. It was in the middle of the night a stern voice was heard. "Rumil! I am coming up. I wish to speak with you." A blonde head appeared at the edge of the flet and Rumil smiled and said "This is an honour Marchwarden. What brings you this far south? Come to see what real elves can do?


End file.
